AN ANONYMOUS LETTER PUBLISHED ON BEHALF OF ‘LIT’
A Letter to My Mother, Who I Lost 25 Years Ago
Never forgotten
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Ma —
You taught me the meaning of the word love. You also taught me the absence of love — or pain — when you left so early.
Why was I the only person in the family that you didn’t leave a note for?
Perhaps you thought I already knew what you’d say.
Perhaps you thought I was strong enough to not get one.
Heck, maybe you didn’t want to waste the paper, or you misplaced your pen the same way you would your glasses.
You’d always joke, “I need my glasses to find my glasses!” Maybe you needed your pen to jot down where you had left your pen, too.
I’m still angry at the illness that took you. I hate that they’ve made such strides with it over the years . . . as though if you had just been born at a more convenient time, the universe would have seen fit to not snatch you away.
I hate that they would choke you with that huge tube going down your throat, when the breathing treatments wouldn’t work. I hate that you couldn’t get any air. Most of all, I hate the doctor who said nothing was wrong with you for years, despite you going in there wheezing and hacking, because you were a woman and couldn’t be trusted to know your own body. It took dad going in with you and saying “My wife can’t breathe!” before he looked at you as a person and started prescribing medication.
By then it was too late.
You’ve missed a bunch of stuff, Ma. Rachel has two boys, both grown now. I got married, and the guy died. The Colliers are all well, although Lori and Keith split. Amy and Lori are living together now, and that’s very positive. Dad’s writing up a storm — 17 books! And I write plays.
Dr. Demento and Weird Al are both still kickin’.
We had an African-American as President of the United States. A liberal. You would have been so happy. If you have the ability to look in the future after you died but the past before now, skip the last 6 years, please. It would just depress you.
Although things are slowly (so slowly!) looking up.
I miss you tonnes.
Love,
Lit
Note from the editor: Dear Lit, thank you for trusting your beautiful letter to me. Sending all of my warm wishes and love in your direction.
This is an anonymous letter submitted to the publication. A pen name was chosen by the author and given to the Editor. The letter will always remain anonymous. You may respond to any letter in Letters from Anon, and it will be at the discretion of the editor if your letter will be published. Become a writer for Letters from Anon here.
