A Letter to my ‘Sisters in Blue’ 👮♀️
Reflections on 11 years in a toxic sludge police culture
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Why I’m writing this article
I don’t often talk about policing in a public forum like this. And I’ve been absent from Medium — I’ve been sick.
Most cops I know can relate to rarely sharing anything online about our work. Let alone about our incredibly fucked up work culture. I know that so many of my blue sisters here will appreciate that feeling.
But here I am, I’m taking the plunge. So how did it happen? Well I just was finally able to put something into words recently and today I was reminded of it.
And if you don’t agree with my post, I’m open to your thoughts. I recognise everyone has different experiences. What I can say is that this is my experience and my view, 100%. My aim is to hopefully validate things others might be feeling or experiencing.
About my experience in the Police
I’m an Australian based cop — a criminal investigator. But I’ve been off work for a year now. In 2018 I developed a neurological disability. Technically it’s not work related, so I’m on my own in all treatment, expenses and the effect it’s had on my career. But in actuality it’s a disorder that is caused by an autoimmune response, which stress contributed to significantly. It’s definitely work related, I just can’t prove it.
I found it hard to fit in to the police culture, back when I started around 11 years ago. I was always told I was:
- Too opinionated
- Bossy
- Stepping out of line
- Too smart for my own good
- Lacking commonsense
- Thought I was a higher rank than I was
- Should just be quiet.
I get it, I was high-spirited and ambitious. That’s scary for people who feel threatened easily.
But I’ve always been ready to hear feedback, have a go, and really change my actions if someone suggests a better way of doing things. I’ve always admitted that I make plenty of mistakes.
